|The past month.
||[Oct. 3rd, 2006|12:14 am]
|||||"Distant Sun" - Lacuna Coil||]|
Since I haven't wrote in here for ages, I'd figure I'd at least update it with my previous entries [on Myspace] for the last month.. Mainly because a certain someone doesn't have myspace anymore and can't see them :p haha
Saturday, September 02, 2006
My love's like an arm chair
Current mood: sad
So, there's so much shit going on. BLAH. And most of it I can't talk about out of respect for those involved. (Only because I love them) haha.
What else. I honestly don't know. I've been really emo(tional) the last few days and I'm not too sure why. I thought it was p.m.s. but I'm not due for like another week, so maybe I'll be early or something =/ I'm lonely mostly.
I'm scared about meeting new people. I don't know why, that's weird for me.
I just don't know how and I'm not sure there is anyone in my classes that I want to know. But I need to. So.. yeah. I just wish I had more classes with Amber, I'm a lot more social with her and, yeah.. More outgoing. But oh well.
I need to do homework tomorrow. If any of you see me on remind me to do shit. To do list:
- Read A LOT of shit for Am. Gov by the 11th
- read a long (30 pg) chapter for Public Relations by wednesday
- do some shit for Spanish
- read 3 chapters and write a paper for speech by wednesday,
- and buy and read the Sunday Tribune for Com Seminar... AHHHHH
So much stuff.. haha. Although I can't really complain, it's not really all that much stuff, at least my classes won't require other hw besides reading normally. So that's cool. The end of the semester is when it will get busier.
I think Chrissy's mad at me :( And I don't know why. lame.
I don't really have all that much to write about. I wish I could write more. Its healthy. I really want to write poetry again but I don't really have any inspiration to do it.
If you're curious, my past poetry is at my Deviant Art.
I don't think anyone really looks at that though. :p haha
So, anyone in the NWI area know a good place to meet lesbians?? Cuz I need one. HaHa.
I miss someone that I shouldn't miss. lol. But, I'm not letting myself do it again, nope, I won't fall into that trap. Flirting is okay. Thats all.
Current mood: pissed off
Why didn't I do it?
I should've kissed her.
I hate myself for it. What would it change? I'd probably just be happier right now and not lonely. but NO. I'm a chicken and I couldn't do it...
I hate myself for it. :( And now there's nothing I can do. Nothing. We have no chance now because she doesn't want to take the risk (I don't blame her). I just should've done it. Fuck.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Why Meijers SUCKS ass.
Current mood: amused
so. Meijers sucks at life. In case you all didnt know that.
So tonight I went out with Liz (always fun because we're retards), but anyways. We went to Meijers so she could get a green pen... Yes, we went to Meijers (the stupid HUGE store) to get a damn pen.. anyways.
Firstly, it sucks because they have a deli/cafe at a 24 hour store that was CLOSED and Jen was HUNGRY. it was lame. and then they were out of cheese samples. WOW. so retarted.
Secondly, thier nintendo DS wasn't working right. Stupid MOFO touch screen didnt work, and it messed up my Brain Age score (I was trying to beat the D+ I got earlier in the night.. OKAY I was trying to beat Liz's C, but thats not the point) and yeah.. the touch screen didnt work right.
Thirdly, and THE most important reason is the fact that their stupid sticker machines DON'T WORK. you put in a quarter and nothing comes out. Not only does nothing come out, but there is NOWHERE for something to come out of. Yeah... we wasted like 50c on that piece to try and figure it out. I WANT MY DAMN MONEY BACK. Oh, and their crane game thing is rigged... the little claw is loose so it wont pick things up.
Yeah, SO moral of the story kids: don't go to Mejir because they are too big, too overpriced, and too cheap/retarted. Oh, AND their parking lot is way huge... is it ever full? It's like twice the size of the store. So yeah... any store that has its own gas station is just plain lame. But obviously entertaining enough to make fun of and get a whole blog devoted to it.
Oh I bought a webcam today... Fun times :P haha
I don't want to go to school tomorrow ethier... I don't think I wrote my paper thingy right =/ And I havent finished reading crap yet... oh well I'll do it tomorrow before class. Heh.. way to procrastinate Jen.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Current mood: sad
Life sucks. I don't know. Nothing goes right for me, eh?
At least with love. FUCK love.. why not right?
I fail myself yet again... always bringing up false hope for me and shit and then BAM it breaks with like... what... three words? Whatever.. I want to give up on love. I just wish I was strong enough not to start to like anyone. Its retarted.
Yeah, I knew shit wouldn't happen, but I gave myself hope. I guess I need to listen to my friends more, eh?
Yeah... you were right guys, I'll say it.
I don't want to fall in love anymore.
I'm happy for them though. and this won't ruin our friendship. It just sucks.
THE FLOOD had pictures, but if you wanna see them go here: http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v502/jumper_jax/Flood/
Saturday, September 16, 2006
I have to talk about this, how can I not?
My town (Griffith) and the neighboring town (Highland) were declared disaster areas for the state. Some have called this NW Indiana's Katrina. It's crazy.
Nearly 1000 homes severly damaged... like 20 collapsed foundations. It's insane. The schools were closed because they were flooded (one ankle deep) and people were evacuating by boat.
I woke up Wednesday morning to get ready to go to PUC for school, little did I know that my street was under nearly two feet of water, not just regular water ethier, it was sewage water... Needless to say I couldn't go to school and missed a couple quizzes. =/
Well, that was the least of my worries. I live by Cady Ditch, in one of the deepest parts of my town. We got a lot of water. My family was lucky though, our house didn't flood. We're toward the middle of my street so a bulk of the water didn't come to us. My neighbors down the street with basements were screwed though. I think they got like 4 ft of water down there.
Some people's basements were flooded all the way to the next floor. It's insane. Griffith is by far worse off than Highland. everyone in Griffith experienced some type of the flood, Highland didn't.
I managed to get some pictures of my street (Glenwood) by the end of the day the water was nearly 5 ft from our front door.. Thank God the ditch didn't overflow by me (it was about 3 inches from it though).
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
Blah. PMS makes me emo. and emo makes me want to write, so I'm sorry to those reading this.
I'm fine. I promise.
Just lonely again. I don't know how to stop myself, you know? and its hard.. like, why does it take something else to make me realize I like someone so much.. after its too late? I don't know. I can't say that a relationship with said person would even work. oh well, whatever. doesn't matter anymore anyways, they're taken.
Its so hard to find someone. Why can't I just find someone close to me? Why's it so hard??
Maybe I should go straight. That'd make things easier. Fuck. I just want to be held when I'm sad, guys can do that, right? Gah whatever.
I just, don't want to fall in love again. I'm scared I think to let myself go like that again, really scared. It hurt so bad to get my heartbroken, and it was my own fault. I don't know. I want to fold up and not let anything in, at all. But I can't. at least I'm pretty much controlling myself from falling in love again. ahhh...
I'm going to shut up now. This blog makes no sense to me, and probably makes less sense to those reading it. ah..
Good news? I'm going to see Brand New and Dashboard Confessional in Oct.. that's exciting at least.
Edit: My bird just died.... wow. way to end the night, eh? ='(
Saturday, September 30, 2006
The pretty, pretty folks... West coast folks.
Current mood: tired
So today I went up to Chicago with my friend, we were supposed to be going to Navy Pier for Deal or No Deal auditions [not my choice...] but we ended up getting a little turned around and by the time we actually got there half of the streets were closed because of the Breast Cancer walk thingy.. THEN all of the parking garages and stuffs were full... lame-OH! So yeah, needless to say when we were actually able to park somewhere it was like.. 12 and pointless. We ended up just going to all these really expensive stores [also not my choice] and Amber bought a lot of stuffs.. or rather a little for a lot of $$ :p Then we went to Dick's Last Resort [I had a little to do with that choice] and it was good... then we went home.
Fun Times. It's awesome not having to rely on parents anymore.. I have to say that. =]
I'm uber tired and starting to get a little stressed about school.. Its like, I don't want to do the work, but I know I have to... I'll have my moments when I'm like... motivated and interested [like when I'm actually at school] but idk when it comes to doing homework and stugg I don't want to do it.. =/ Gr.. and now I have all these projects/papers to do and stuff and it sucks.
I'm at my sister's right now, and I'm uber bored.. So if anyone has aim or xfire msg me.. [pmsjumper on both] and I don't have any games, so it's even worse.. lol.
I'll stop rambling now, I don't think this blog was about much. haha.
P.S. What car cd player doesn't play burned cds?? My sister was told that if you try to play one it will mess up her car... weird or what?? It's a new car too.. I'm so confused.